a Post on Post

Just a little something silly for your Thursday...
Advice to four pop queens, from the master of etiquette herself, Emily Post.
What etiquette advice would you dish out to a current celebrity? Share your thoughts below!

Pearls of Wisdom

Last week I wrote about practicing the art of graciously receiving compliments. And again yesterday I brought up the subject of manners (or, rather, another blogger brought it up). And so today I thought I would continue the theme by mentioning a pearl of wisdom that I was recently taught.

The wisdom is this: “place yourself in a position to receive niceties, and you will find them.” What niceties am I referring to, you ask? Well, let me tell you. They’re the little things, like when a stranger picks up something you’ve dropped, or if someone offers to hold the door open for you when you have your arms full. You know--the little polite gestures that help make the day go smoother and restores our confidence in humanity. Now, what do I mean by “placing yourself in a position to receive them”? To be truthful, it is a tad difficult to explain, but let me try by illustrating my point with a story:

When I was younger I had the privilege of being accepted into an academic fellowship in Washington D.C. Now there was this young man who was also in the fellowship, and he had this habit that I thought was sooo annoying. His habit was this: when we would walk together in a group, he would intentionally walk between us ladies and the street. It used to drive me crazy. His reasons were obvious--he was trying to be a gentleman. If a car were to slosh mud up onto the sidewalk, he was willing to be the one who bore the brunt of the sludge. Or if a car door swung open unexpectedly, he wanted to be hit rather than us. It was a kind gesture. It also got under my feminist nerves. I’d walked down tougher streets than downtown DC, I figured, and had handled myself just fine. Why did I need him to protect me from the possibility of unexpected threats? Now, granted, he was a bit over-the-top in his chivalry. Perhaps I would not have even noticed his gestures had he performed them with a little more subtlety. But he was young and I was young and...well...young people make mistakes. My point is that in spite of his overzealous efforts, I could have a) recognized that perhaps it really would benefit me to be shielded from sludge and injury, and b) moved to the inside of the sidewalk to help him out. In other words, I could have put myself in a position that made it easier for him to be polite. And maybe if I started looking for more politeness, practicing it myself and expecting it from others, I might start seeing more of it blossom in my town and in stores and among family.

To close, I'd like to thank my friend, Ramona, for pointing out this little pearl of wisdom. She certainly knows her manners.

What is your favorite act of chivalry? Share by posting your comment here!

Glossary of lovely ivory images, courtesy of handmade sellers on Etsy.com:
1. all about a bow clutch--ivory lustrous duchess by davie and chiyo
2. pretty pearls by pretty things by meg
3. chocolate brown felt flower hat by mojo spa style
4. vintage - 18 inches square pillow cover in satin ivory ruffles by the home centric
5. vintage ruffles - 16 inch round silk pillow cover with ruffles also by the home centric
6. made to order ivory tulle and pearl bridal shrug by holly stalder
7. white day dress (free shipping) by magnolija dress

Gentlemen

note: all images are from Scott Schuman, author of the popular blog, The Sartorialist
I just recently started reading The Sartorialist and have fallen in love. The photos...the fashion...the enchanting foreign cities...
And though there are many beautiful and elegant women featured on the blog, my unexpected favorite images are those of regal gentlemen like the ones pictured above and below.

Perhaps I am drawn to them because gentlemen are so hard to find in this day and age. I do not mean to be excessively critical of men (gentlewomen are difficult to spot as well) because I think we've all gotten into the terrible habit of being too busy for polite civility.
Apparently I am not the only one to notice how important good manners are in society. In fact, the author of The Sartorialist just posted some elegant prose on the subject of grace and modern manners, and I would be remiss if I did not direct you all to his blog to read it.
His words are brief but poignant (as well as the comments of other readers), and fit so nicely into the subject of being gracious. I'll be mulling over them all day, I'm sure, and will most likely have more to say on the topic of ladies and gentlemen in the days to come.

But for now I encourage you to head over to the Sartorialist for a refreshing read about manners (and a glimpse at lovely fashion as well).

happy Tuesday!--steph