Je Ne Sais Quoi: Evolution

This past weekend I had a lovely afternoon with some friends. We had lunch and then meandered through some shops, browsing the clothing racks and trying on shoes.

(As an aside...if you are reading this and happened upon a small to-go container of fried fish next to the accessories at Charlotte Russe, I do apologize. Those would be mine. And yes--I accidentally left them there.)

And during our browsing we came across a selection of GIANT costume rings for dirt-cheap prices. Huge, gaudy, glittery rings that most normal people wouldn't consider wearing. I know because I used to be one of those normal people.

Until things started to change for me.

Let me show you what I mean. The above photo is a ring from my earlier days. Notice the delicate band and the charming heart-shaped opal stone. This is the kind of ring I once considered "my style." Small, unassuming, petite.

For many years I kept to this principle of small and simple. I saw myself as a natural Colorado girl, which often meant sandals and khaki shorts and earth tones. And my accessories matched this theme. The ring above, for instance, was a college graduation present from my family. Notice that it's a tad bigger than the golden opal, but still unassuming. I was going for low maintenance. Sporty. Effortless.

But then gradually things started to shift. I began to drift away from simple and move toward flashier styles. Like the ring above, which I received from my husband during one of our first Christmases together as a married couple.

The ring, of course, is still fairly natural. The stone is amber and it's set simply in sterling silver. I could still pull it off with shorts and sandals if I wanted to. I was getting girlier, but not too much. Not yet.

And then this happened. Christmas, 2008. Stacks and stacks of faux pearls bigger than my thumb. What happened to me, you might ask? How did I go from small and petite to this monstrosity in just a few short years?

The answers, I'm afraid, don't come easily. All I can say is that once I started dabbling in my feminine side, I couldn't stop. The older I got, the more I regressed to my childhood fantasies of elaborate rhinestone gems and princess attire. The earth tones were replaced by pink and purple. The sandals were ousted by wedges and stilettos. And the rings...well, the just kept getting bigger and bigger.

Which is what led me to purchase this GIANT adornment last Saturday for $4.00. I didn't even think twice about it. Long gone are the days of simple and petite. These are the days for Grand and Ostentatious! I am no longer that natural, Colorado girl. I am Stephanie, princess of the land.

And I can barely lift my hand to prove it to you.

To close, the photo above illustrates perfectly the path of my evolution. Your guess is as good as mine as to where it will lead me next.

But I'd put money on more rhinestones...

Promote Your Business: Charm DuJour's FREE GIVEAWAY

I am so excited to offer you all a special mid-week treat today! Brittney from the oh-so-charming jewelry store, Charm DuJour, is giving away this Gorgeous navy blue necklace to one lucky winner!

I love the design--don't you? It's simple and elegant. Also, I've noticed recently that I've been drawn toward gold accessories, and thus I am quite fond of these golden beads and the textured chain.

I also really like these navy-blue beads, which Brittney selected specifically for the approaching summer. I think they would look great with a nautical stripe or white linen. Or red sandals. Or a pink tank top. Or basically anything else you own.

To enter to win this lovely charm, please take a minute to visit Brittney's shop (click here!) and say hello on her blog (click here!), and then post a comment below!

The winner will be chosen randomly from the comments below and announced by 6:00 PM MST (that's 8:00 for you Easterners!).

Thank you to Charm DuJour!

note: click here to learn more about how you can Promote Your Business

***TODAY'S WINNER IS COMMENT #6: AMY B.! CONGRATULATIONS, AMY!***

I Want to Hear from You! (plus a chance to win free jewelry!)

Hello and Happy Friday to you all! Today I'm announcing a Special Project that I need your help on!

I want to find out who inspires us as women, and I'm petitioning for your thoughts! Keep reading to learn more:
I know that we all have women in our lives that we look up to as role models (for instance--it's not a coincidence that I'm posting our answers right before Mother's Day, since I know that many of us think first of our moms...), and so I'm submitting to you all the question above, and hope that you'll send me your responses!
And to further entice you, one lucky reader will win this lovely necklace, courtesy of Lily Leighs jewelry!
To enter, send your thoughts to the email address above! The winner will be announced on Friday, May 7th!
Also, I wanted to extend an invitation to all of you local Northern Colorado readers to join me at Roller Derby this weekend! It will be my first ever Bout and I'm so excited to see these women in action!

For more information, email me at shillberry@stephaniehillberry.com or click on the "foco derby" button on the left!

I can't wait to read more about who inspires you!
Have a great weekend--
steph

Promote Your Business: Lily Leighs Vintage to Modern Jewelry

Hello everyone, and happy Wednesday! Today I want to introduce you to a new friend, Karter, from Lily Leighs handmade jewelry. Lily Leighs is part of my new "Promote Your Business" program (because y'all know how much I LOVE entrepreneurs!), and the jewelry maker would love to share a little bit about herself with you! Read below to learn more--
What are your favorite ways to notice and nurture beauty and inspiration around you?

Having grown up in Colorado, I am amazed by the beauty of the Rockies and gorgeous scenery. But, I am mostly inspired by the beauty in people. I am a people-loving person and find that I am inspired and stirred by people’s lives and the ability of God to work through their struggles and see them through to the other side. How do you express your creativity and personality through your daily work?

Jewelry is relatively new to me but I have always been into doing something or another with my hands. I had a card shop on Etsy for a few years and made handmade cards and tags etc… so I have actually spent more time in the scrapbooking/cardmaking end of things. It helps that my mom was doing the same thing so we would spend many a vacation and visit around cardmaking. She has had a successful card shop on Etsy for a few years (Cardmaven.etsy.com) and is sad to see me turn to jewelry! I love making jewelry and would like to eventually have more items in my shop that reflect my faith. I think my shop could eventually be a more accurate expression of what I am truly inspired by. What wisdom would you give to other women who are seeking to accomplish their goals and ambitions?

One simple word: PRAY. As a Christian I believe that we are fearfully and wonderfully made with special talents and with a purpose. My goals and ambitions were different prior to becoming a Christian. They changed because God had a different direction for my life. I have two children with special needs. I did not know that one of the ways God would use me would be to encourage other moms through the heartache and disappointment of finding out that your child or children were not going to be what YOU thought but that they were well-thought out by God. I was given this unique challenge because that is what God’s purpose was for me. Each woman and person for that matter was uniquely created for a specific purpose that only they can achieve. I really believe that true contentment and real joy come from walking in our life’s purpose~ it just feels right. What do you feel is your most important character trait and why?

My most important character trait is that I care about people and desire to see them grow and change. Christ is and was a lover of people and he causes us to love others. This is an important trait because life is not about us only but what we have to offer to others. Life is so much richer when we can give of what we have! I have a lot to give because of what has been given to me. To you, being a woman means…..?

Being me…accepting and being comfortable with how God has uniquely made me while consistently working towards becoming the wife and mother that I can be through God's strength and guidance. I am a work-in-progress and am maturing as a woman. I used to be such a tomboy growing up and still am in many ways. I have a hard time putting on anything but jeans and boots and wearing my hair other than in a pony tail, but that is o’kay and I am becoming more content with my unique qualities.

Thank you, Karter, for sharing about your business and about what inspires you!

To visit Lily Leighs, click here.
To find out how you can promote your business, click here--

Reaching Out: breaking free from my general malaise

I’m afraid to admit that it has been ONE OF THOSE WEEKS. The kind where I succumb to the lure of a general malaise and put off everything I need to do.

And after a particularly unproductive Thursday involving a Hulu binge and some unadvised quantities of guacamole, I found myself lying in my office in the dark wondering where the day had gone, and why it has been so difficult to find the appropriate energy lately.
After some intense soul-searching over a can of root beer, I identified the culprit. No, it was not the grayish weather we had this week, although that certainly didn’t help. Rather, it is my social isolation. You see, I work from home, and as such, I spend a lot of time alone planning and writing and creating, etc. etc. Which means that I don’t always spend much time out and about.
It’s a trend, I’ve concluded, that I need to remedy. So, to jump start the process, I thought I would search for some inspiration on Etsy this morning. More specifically, I wanted to see what other local sellers in my region were crafting and listing. I reasoned that perhaps I might be able to siphon off some of their energy, and maybe even have a chance to meet some likeminded creative-types who could rub off on me.

And pull me out of my home office.
The truth is that we all need a little outside help to pull us forward from time to time. Because often our dreams and plans get trapped inside our heads or on the pages of our journals or never make it outside of the three people we really share our lives with.
This, naturally, leads to loneliness and stagnation.
Fortunately I already feel better. Just looking at these beautiful items, and knowing that their creators live in my town takes away some of that loneliness. And their example of innovative and fresh enterprise refreshes my excitement about resourcefulness and entrepreneurism. They’re putting their skills “out there” just like me. And frankly doing a fine job of it at that!
So, if like me, you're currently struggling with a little malaise yourself, perhaps the prescription is to reach out. Because we can't accomplish our goals and dreams all by ourselves, no matter how disciplined and focused we are. Trust me--Hulu and guacamole are powerful distractions...

Take a minute to visit the shops of these wonderful local sellers to Northern Colorado, or perhaps visit Etsy and search for shops in your region!

And have a great Friday!
--steph

Glossary of handmade sellers:
1. rouched bamboo cream longsleeve top by mnemosyne
2. ginseng wristlet by chick bags
3. czech glass fire polished beads blue turquoise faceted donuts by bead soup beads
4. peppermint sugar scrub by all things mint
5. small size--one pendant custom silhouette necklace by lucky me beads
6. chenille and flannel baby blanket in apples and oranges by the red pistachio

a Little Sparkle for your Morning...

Not so long ago, when I was in my early twenties, I spent some time in counseling working through the garden variety issues that come with the “coming-of-age” angst. And among the many things that I remember my therapist saying to me, one of them has always stood out. Stood out because it perpetually annoyed me. She used to say--and say often--”now remember, Stephanie, you’re a human Being, not a human Doing.”Now this “human being not doing” saying is fine to ponder on quiet walks and during deep discussions, but as I mentioned, it always annoyed me. Annoyed me because...well...it’s just not that practical. The truth is that what I Do is a big part of who I am. Transcendent self-awareness aside, I can’t very well spend my days just “being.” My husband, for one, would probably not appreciate my “being” when--say--a huge stack of dishes needed some devoted “doing.”

What I’m trying to say, in a nutshell, is that frankly I have too much to do to concentrate on just being.
And so it was with a familiar task-oriented mind that I took another “reflective walk” yesterday morning. The beauty of a clear, chilled, snow-covered prairie had certainly made an impression on me, but not quite enough to press out from my mind the mountain of things waiting for me at home.

And then I came across some tall grasses. I had passed them already on the first leg of the walk without notice, but upon coming back they caught my eye. Caught it because they were dazzling. On top of their generic stalks were these magnificent crystal clusters, sparkling radiantly in the morning sun. It was like the whole prairie was covered in diamonds--decked in splendor for no particular reason on a boring Monday morning.
As I stopped to snap some photos (that regrettably did not turn out), it occurred to me that these shining gems were not practical at all. They were just beautiful. Granted prairie grasses aren’t normally troubled by the mounting to-do lists that we humans lug around from day to day, and therefore have more leisure to be unexpectedly lovely, but still...
...Still they reminded me of those annoying counseling sessions and how my therapist always felt the need to prod me Away from all my earnest doing. And while her attempts, and mine, are generally futile most of the time, every once and awhile I remember that beauty is at least as important as efficiency and to-do lists.

And so, under the influence of my co-conspirators (the therapist and the prairie), I've concluded that a little sparkle is good for me every now and then. It won't make my to-list go away, but it reminds me that efficiency isn't always the healthiest habit for me. Diamonds, however, are healthy indeed.

Now if only I could successfully convince my husband of this fact...

Pearls of Wisdom Part 2

A wise man (otherwise known as Jesus) once said "don't toss your pearls to swine."

This, I know, seems like an odd way to start a post during the season of romance (Valentine's Day is admittedly not usually associated with pigs), but knowing how to give away love is an important thing to remember this time of year.
In other words, a lady's love must be earned. She doesn't just give it away for free. Not even for a box of chocolates and a dozen roses. Not for jewelry and soft-spoken compliments. Not for diamonds. (okay...maybe really big ones...) The gift of a lady's heart requires some effort.
Now here is where the swine come in. All too often we find ourselves tempted to give away our talents and affections to those who do not properly esteem them. Like pigs, they cannot discern the difference between trash and treasure, and want only to feel the satisfaction of instant gratification.
Naturally our first thoughts might go to the obvious examples, like casual sex with strangers and long-term relationships with callous men. These pearls-to-the-swine pictures are easy to spot, and none of us would choose to toss our treasures so carelessly if we can avoid it.
But there are other, more subtle examples of this sneaky tragedy. There are those of us, for instance, who pour out our skill and talent for a boss who does not recognize or reward the effort. Others of us might sacrificially nurture the friendship of a vain and foolish girlfriend long after the relationship should have expired. And still others of us offer the precious gift of our time to husbands and children who do not reciprocate.
In short, it is all too easy for our hearts to be exploited by those who cannot (or will not) see beyond themselves.
Now, upon recognizing this error, it is often easy to pull back our affections entirely. But note that the proverb is not "don't throw your pearls...ever." Our hearts, our time, our love, our talents--we were made to give them away. To share them with others, especially those we care most about.
We just need to remember to exercise some prudence in the act of giving. As I said earlier, a lady's pearls should be earned. The people in our life who would seek to merit our hearts should not be afraid or unwilling to extend some effort. They should, through their actions and words, demonstrate that they know the difference between trash and treasure--and that they do, in fact, treasure us.
So this week, when love is in the air and pink and red adorn the town, remember the words of a wise man and offer your pearls to those who deserve them.

P.S. Aren't you loving the multi-strand necklaces in fashion these days?! They can be worn in so many different ways.... Mine pictured here--believe it or not--were snatched up from my holiday decorations. That's right--they're Christmas garland. Nobody said the pearls have to be real...

Unexpected Chivalry

I’ve been reading a lot of comments this week about chivalrous husbands and boyfriends. The kind who open doors and buy flowers and write notes.

My husband does not do any of these things. Little romantic gestures are just not in his genetic makeup. But he is a gentleman. He does give me unexpected gifts right when I need them. Like yesterday, for instance:
him: what are you up to today?
me: the usual. work. lots of work.

him: you know, you need to be careful that you don’t burn yourself out.
me: it’s too late--I’m already burned out.
him: why don’t you just take a sick day.
me: I can’t do that.

him: why not? everyone needs to take a day off every now and then.
me: well...that would be nice.
him: i know. just stay in bed. take it easy.
me: really? you think that would be okay?

him: yes. you need it. it’s okay.

And then he left for work. Three episodes of Big Love, four of Mad Men, one Project Runway, stacks of Oreo cookies, piles of lime Tostidos and two beers later...I was admittedly feeling quite refreshed.
And this morning I’m a new woman.

So thank you, Craig, for being a gentlemen in unexpected ways. Because though open doors and flowers are definitely nice, what I really needed this week was permission to take a break.

I love you--

What do you prefer for a special treat: jewelry or really tasty food? Share your thoughts here!

Glossary of treats and pretty things from Etsy:
1. Himalayan pink salt truffles - 15 pc. by vintage confections
2. humble heart earrings by charm du jour
3. white chocolate covered peppermint joe-joe's sandwich cookies valentine's by sweet tooth sweetie
4. little poppy bowl by prince design uk
5. Hand Decorated Valentines Day Heart Swirl Cookies // 1 Dozen // Individually wrapped and and packaged for gifting by bees knees creative

Pearls of Wisdom

Last week I wrote about practicing the art of graciously receiving compliments. And again yesterday I brought up the subject of manners (or, rather, another blogger brought it up). And so today I thought I would continue the theme by mentioning a pearl of wisdom that I was recently taught.

The wisdom is this: “place yourself in a position to receive niceties, and you will find them.” What niceties am I referring to, you ask? Well, let me tell you. They’re the little things, like when a stranger picks up something you’ve dropped, or if someone offers to hold the door open for you when you have your arms full. You know--the little polite gestures that help make the day go smoother and restores our confidence in humanity. Now, what do I mean by “placing yourself in a position to receive them”? To be truthful, it is a tad difficult to explain, but let me try by illustrating my point with a story:

When I was younger I had the privilege of being accepted into an academic fellowship in Washington D.C. Now there was this young man who was also in the fellowship, and he had this habit that I thought was sooo annoying. His habit was this: when we would walk together in a group, he would intentionally walk between us ladies and the street. It used to drive me crazy. His reasons were obvious--he was trying to be a gentleman. If a car were to slosh mud up onto the sidewalk, he was willing to be the one who bore the brunt of the sludge. Or if a car door swung open unexpectedly, he wanted to be hit rather than us. It was a kind gesture. It also got under my feminist nerves. I’d walked down tougher streets than downtown DC, I figured, and had handled myself just fine. Why did I need him to protect me from the possibility of unexpected threats? Now, granted, he was a bit over-the-top in his chivalry. Perhaps I would not have even noticed his gestures had he performed them with a little more subtlety. But he was young and I was young and...well...young people make mistakes. My point is that in spite of his overzealous efforts, I could have a) recognized that perhaps it really would benefit me to be shielded from sludge and injury, and b) moved to the inside of the sidewalk to help him out. In other words, I could have put myself in a position that made it easier for him to be polite. And maybe if I started looking for more politeness, practicing it myself and expecting it from others, I might start seeing more of it blossom in my town and in stores and among family.

To close, I'd like to thank my friend, Ramona, for pointing out this little pearl of wisdom. She certainly knows her manners.

What is your favorite act of chivalry? Share by posting your comment here!

Glossary of lovely ivory images, courtesy of handmade sellers on Etsy.com:
1. all about a bow clutch--ivory lustrous duchess by davie and chiyo
2. pretty pearls by pretty things by meg
3. chocolate brown felt flower hat by mojo spa style
4. vintage - 18 inches square pillow cover in satin ivory ruffles by the home centric
5. vintage ruffles - 16 inch round silk pillow cover with ruffles also by the home centric
6. made to order ivory tulle and pearl bridal shrug by holly stalder
7. white day dress (free shipping) by magnolija dress