Baby Steps for a Domestic Dropout

For someone with a blog about domestic pursuits, I have to confess that I have been a terrible role model lately. I barely cook. I rarely clean my house. I paid my mortgage payment 3 days late this month. I've gotten into the habit of tossing mail into a basket without even looking at it. I have no idea if we have enough toilet paper to get through the weekend.

In other words, I've been failing "home economics" with the flair of a dropout lately. So...when Monday rolled around earlier this week I decided that I needed to start trying harder. Take baby steps. Maybe reacquaint myself with the vacuum.

And so here is a story of my progress:

Monday: got up early, showered, and was ready for the day by 7:30. Made the bed (a small victory), paid bills, and designated one cleaning chore for the day: the floors.
Later: swept, mopped and vacuumed. Made baked potatoes for dinner (another small victory), and even had time to play frisbee AND do yoga.
Went to bed exhausted but happy.

Tuesday: got up a little later after hitting the snooze for 45 minutes. Still made the bed (hooray!) and picked another chore for the day: cleaning the kitchen.
Later, managed to plan a week's worth of healthy meals, go grocery shopping, clean kitchen AND make it to two evening events. Overall another good day.

Wednesday: husband has to literally drag me out of bed (seriously, he pulls my ankles off the bed), but manage to set a record by making bed again. I designate the bathrooms as my daily chore, and plan to make a healthy artichoke salad for dinner.
Later, accomplish salad but avoid bathrooms. Also, I did not work out or find the will to pick the scissors off my office floor (they'd been laying there since Monday).

Thursday: started day with similar scene involving me being pulled from my ankles out of bed. While making bed (4 days in a row!) I resolved to really clean the bathrooms this time, make another healthy dinner AND fit in a workout.
Later: substitute workout and bathroom cleaning for drinking beer and watching television, but still pull off a healthy dinner and even make leftovers. Scissors, however, are still laying precariously on floor.

Friday: try to pull the "it's Friday--I can sleep in" trick with husband to no avail. Make bed again! Make diligent plans to clean bathrooms before the weekend, spot clean the floors again, and serve a tasty buffalo chicken salad for dinner.
Later: it's too soon to tell, but it's not looking good for the bathrooms or those scissors on the floor...

Wishing you a happy (and domestic) weekend!
--steph

Favorite Things: Confessions of a Negligent Housekeeper

When I quit my job as a banker in late 2007, I never expected that I would spend a great deal of time writing about chores. Cooking. Cleaning. Budgeting.

But life has a funny way of surprising you, and by the time last spring rolled around, I was fairly used to my new domestic life. But there were still a few things I needed to work on. Read below about my confessions of negligence:

Yesterday I spoke to you of my plans to freshen up (in other words, scour) my home in the days to come. Now I realize that ordinarily spring cleaning is supposed to be an intense and yet rather short affair. Like a week long. But I am imagining that it will take a stretch longer for me. Why?

Because I've never done any spring cleaning in this house. That's right--Never. Feel free to judge me all you want. For someone so domesticated, I've managed to avoid this annual chore for over 4 years. Right again--Four. You can count them. Sure, I've scrubbed down a few things, and dusted in corners, and put the oven on the self-cleaning cycle. But I've certainly never done what I'm about to do.

Which is to say that I intend to move furniture. That's right--actually scoot my sofas away from their terminal resting places and--heaven behold!--run a vacuum underneath. And do the same with the beds. And wash down the doors and walls. And clean out my closets, which are undoubtedly stuffed to the gills with things I've completely forgotten about and never intend to use.

And why have I never done these things? Well, mainly because I didn't have the time. Up until a year ago, I worked full-time like many of you readers out there. And during my precious leisure time I sure as hell didn't feel like moving furniture! So I've done what I think a lot of people do: the basics and not much more. Therefore my house has always looked presentable (as long as you don't gaze above my eye line, which according to my husband--who is five inches taller than me--is quite grimy), but is far from clean.

And why am I doing it now (and writing about it daily)? Well--other than the health concerns arising from the terrifying layer of dirt on the blades of my ceiling fan--because spring is coming. And though I was raised to be a faithful feminist and eschew the trappings of housekeeping for more noble affairs like world domination, I feel this almost primitive urge to air-out and clean-up. It coincides with the exact same urge I've had this winter to hunker down and snuggle up.

I call it Nesting. And apparently I've been very bad at it over the past four years. Now, I don't feel too guilty about this because honestly--in the grand scheme of things--who cares if my nooks and crannies are less than presentable? It's not a character flaw. But for once I thought I'd indulge this ancient urge to spring clean and see where it takes me. I'm hoping that during a season of struggle these simple tasks will brighten my spirits as much as they brighten my home. Call it spring cleaning therapy.

We'll see how it goes!

Originally published 24.Feb.2009: click here to view the original post

Other Related Posts:
In Defense of Clean Sheets and Fresh Bread
Drawing the Domestic Line (why I won't be ironing my sheets)
Modern Benefits from a Vintage Chore

Chores

If the lure of new projects motivated me out of bed yesterday morning, than the demand for chores pulled me out this morning.  Yes...I know--projects are Way more fun.  But alas my receipt pile has admittedly gotten a tad bit out of control (I explained politely to my husband that I was only Two months behind after he suggested ever so subtly that "maybe it was time to update Quicken?").  And my new plan to only go to the grocery store two times per month is working swimmingly if you don't count the fact that we have run out of vegetables completely and now have only processed meats for daily consumption (note to self: pick up more dietary fiber...).  

Furthermore, today is supposed to be 70 degrees (yes--that's right, people.  It is 70 in sunny Colorado in January.  I might just be tempted to sunbathe), which means that technically I could get a jump start on that spring cleaning I've been meaning to do ever since we moved into this house four years ago (don't judge me--I've been very busy).  And I really should water the plants in the backyard since we haven't had a lick of snow this year and everything just looks thirsty.  

And now that we have reached an 87:2 ratio of magazines per humans in the house, perhaps it is time to do a wee bit of sorting and recycling.  Just to...ahem...clear some room for the new magazines, of course.  

So, anyway...clearly I have my work cut out for me.  Until tomorrow...happy nesting (even if your nesting involves chores, too)!

Previous Nesting posts:

Nesting is...Economizing

My Domestic Renaissance

Nesting Before & After

Resting--A New Nesting Tradition

Now that I work from home, days on and days off kind of blur together in a way they never used to when I worked in a cubicle.  So when I decided last fall to designate one day off every week and really try not to do anything, I didn't know what kind of challenge I was getting myself into.

Taking time off, I'm sure you know, is no easy feat for modern women such as ourselves.  I, for instance, am always tempted to keep my email on during my day off.  And it always manages to lure me back into work-related tasks (damn that little audible "ping" of new messages!).  Or, when I'm sitting on my sofa trying to reflect on the previous week in my journal, I'll somehow end up writing, as if on autopilot, about next week's to-do lists and upcoming projects and appointment reminders.  It must be some sort of sickness.

To remedy my malady, I've been experimenting lately with a "system," so to say, for turning off.  To start, one of the first things I've learned is that a dirty house and an empty fridge are my leisure busters.  If you work full time with weekends off, you know exactly what I mean.  You come home on Friday hoping to have a couple days off only to find a list of chores (clean the bathroom, Cinderella; wash the sheets, Cinderella) mercilessly waiting for you.  Thus, in order to actually accomplish a day off (Saturdays are my choice), I have to get a head start.

Now, I haven't actually accomplished this utopian goal of having fresh sheets, dinner on the stove, a clean house, and flowers and dessert on the table (just for fun--I'm an overachiever) all by Friday night before the sun sets, but I'm getting better at getting there.  For instance, I've learned that if I wait until Friday to clean and cook and do laundry, I'm hosed.  So I've started cleaning earlier in the week to see how far I can get.  And I try to hit the grocery store early so we don't run out of staples (what?!  coffee and No cream!?) by Saturday.  And I have to shut off my computer by Friday night (drastic, I know, but I'm a junkie), and stash my to-do lists in out of sight places lest I be tempted by emails and notes.

I bring all of this up because part of nesting is resting (ah...clever rhyme).  No home is peaceful (one of the best qualities achieved by nesting) when we don't make time for the peace.  So please, do yourself a favor this week, and tackle a few things today that you normally save for the weekend.  Then promise yourself that you aren't going to fill that freed up precious weekend time for something else.  I, for one, will be tackling the toilets this afternoon.  I mean, the cleaner the toilets, the better the rest, you know?

note: yes, that is my dog.  He is quite possibly one of the most pathetic dogs in the world.  Makes very sad faces and is totally unappreciative of the life of leisure he lives....

Stick around later today for my much belated Marketplace Maven post when I review a great maven resource (aka fabulous career book).  And definitely come back tomorrow for my first ever free giveaway raffle!

Previous Nesting Posts:

My Kind of Afternoon

Nesting Before & After

Nurturing my Maternal Side

10-Step Plan to Being Well-Stocked (including "why do I have 6 cans of chipotle peppers and no Pepto?")

If project #1 in my back to basics challenge is meal planning, then project #2 is stocking up on supplies.  Pantry supplies, toiletry supplies, hosting supplies, emergency supplies.  In other words, I want to be well-supplied.

My intended purpose behind stocking up is to a) make it easy on myself and b) be prepared for the unexpected.  So...

Step #1: make a list of the supplies I need.  Try deliberately not to add "new red pumps" and "olive green leather handbag" to the list.  Also scratch chocolate and wine.

Step #2: add chocolate and wine back to the list.  Who was I kidding?  Of course they're necessary supplies!

Step #3: stare blankly into my pantry and closets and realize that I have a) no room, and b) a mountain of things I haven't looked at in months.

Step #4: put my list on hold because it's crazy to shop before taking an inventory of what I already have.

Step #5: contemplate deeply why I have six cans of french-style green beans in my pantry even though I don't like them.  Also, meditate on why I have twelve tubes of antibacterial gel and only one tampon.  

Step #6: start eating the chocolate and drinking the wine.

Step #7: get back to business and finally weed out all of the unused and unnecessary items.  Donate the good stuff to the food bank, charities, etc.  Pitch the rest.  

Step #8: start a new list of supplies because I've misplaced the previous one.  

Step #9: go shopping for supplies.  Resist handbag aisle.  In fact, resist all clothing, cosmetics, magazine, and housewares aisles.  

Step #10: place supplies neatly into newly cleaned pantries and closets.  Smile and celebrate my accomplishments with chocolate and a glass of wine.

Manifesto to Domesticity

After writing yesterday's post, I got to thinking more about the whole "being a good steward of my resources" thing.  I think that most of us recognize that we're pretty lucky when it comes to resources (I'm assuming that if you're reading this on a computer--and have the time to read blogs for leisure--that you live a reasonably affluent life).  The very fact that I own my own home with clean water and a refrigerator to keep my food fresh sets me apart from a lot of people in the world.

Additionally, I think that most of us will acknowledge on some level that we aren't as mindful as we could be with the stuff we have.  I know I waste a lot.  And I feel uncomfortable with that.  

Truthfully I think it is this discomfort that leads me to pursue better "domestic fitness" in my life.  After all, before domesticity was negatively associated with the suburban housewife, household chores used to be all about resourcefulness.  Women would get up early and tend to the home all day in an effort to maximize their resources.  They canned their produce to extend its life through the winter.  They cleaned their homes to keep out diseases that might threaten their livelihood and cost them money.  They planned their meals WAY in advance (take that! husband), ordering supplies in bulk and rationing them through the seasons.  Their domestic activities were directly related to their stewardship.

We, of course, live in different times.  But sometimes I worry that I've gotten too far away from those practices.  The truth is that when I am too busy to take care of the basics--cleaning, preparing food, budgeting--I waste more.  Quite a lot more, in fact.  I can't, in good conscience, ignore that and continue in my ways.

So call it a "manifesto to domesticity" if you will, but I think this little "back to the basics" experiment of mine might actually have more depth than I originally thought.  

Any thoughts?  Share them with me!  Comment here or email me at shillberry@comcast.net

Flunking Home "Work"

So I told my husband the other day about my yearly meal plan idea.  He said I was a weirdo.  That was his exact word: weirdo.  Apparently saving meal plans seems silly to him.  Of course, eating a diet of tortillas and cheese seems silly to me.  But I digress...

After a week and a half of trying to get into domestic shape, I have to confess that I am doing fairly badly.  I procrastinated my grocery shopping, thus resulting in Taco Bell and cupcakes for dinner.  My bathroom sink is covered in toothpaste goo.  And there's an unattractive smell coming from my garbage disposal.

Part of me thinks, who cares?  So what if my house is dirty and we had Taco Bell.  Domestic perfection is an antiquated goal--not for someone with a college degree and her own business.  Modern girls can't be bothered with the petty housekeeping standards of the 1950's.  We've been liberated from all of that!

And of course I'd be right.  Our culture doesn't measure successfulness based on shiny bathroom sinks and meal plans, nor should we.  

But...(you knew I'd throw in a "but") there are a few negative consequences from my recent days of domestic malaise.  One is that I spent a lot more money than I would have if I just made and stuck to a plan.  How? you ask.  Well, running out to grab fast food every day is probably the most financially wasteful way we can eat.  Plus it's really bad for you.  Also, my sink is just gross. 

In other words, not having a plan (or not sticking to one) on the homefront makes me feel like a pretty bad steward of my resources.  Kind of wasteful and unappreciative with what I have.  So the truth is that while I don't feel convicted about my domestic shortcomings because I'm striving for some arbitrary household perfection, I do feel convicted for being a bad steward.  

Kind of makes me want to try harder.

P.S. Just for fun, check out this link, "shiny sinks 101" by the Fly Lady.  Perhaps I should heed her advice and stage an intervention in my bathroom.