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by kerri
May I just say, good or bad, in relationships many things are related to money. Maybe it doesn't speak well of our society or maybe it does. But the truth of things is love is not enough to sustain a marriage/relationship. It helps; it makes you more willing to try new things or put up with things you NEVER would have without it. But we need to have food and shelter and shoes. (Matt would disagree with one of those. Can you guess which?)
I bring this up because recently we took one of the biggest steps in our relationship: joint checking. To the outside world, I realize this doesn't seem all that big of a deal; however, we've been dating for A Long Time and we have become set in our ways with regards to our personal finances. I am a diligent (read: mildly obsessive) checkbook-balancer, constantly making sure my balance matches the bank's. Matt checks his balance every time he makes a deposit or withdrawal at the ATM. I use debit cards, Matt uses cash Only. You get the picture. Fortunately, we are both successful at keeping track of our money and agree on budgets and spending patterns. But getting a hang of doing it Together is very interesting indeed.
Budgeting isn't easy for anyone I don't think. Because there is always something out there to be purchased - the new Gran Turismo game for Matt, a lovely jersey print for me. But it's important for both of us (once again - thank goodness that we agree on this) that we spend conservatively and are both aware of our expenses. Everybody finds a different system that works for them, and we are slowly but surely finding ours. I just got off the phone with Matt after paying off some major bills this weekend. He asked me (in three different ways, mind you) if I made sure to include ALL of the things we paid off in my balance.
Yes Matt, I added our deposits and subtracted our payments.
Yes Matt, I included that check in my balance.
No Matt, I did not write so many checks on things that we are now negative money and required to wash dishes at the bank to work it off!
Jeez!
I digress. I love that we are taking equal roles in this venture into joint checking. I love that we feel equally responsible to each other and our running balance to check in with each other about the status of our money. And I seriously love that we are starting our financial marriage (because let's face it, marriage is the biggest financial commitment we will ever make) on the right foot with good habits, very little debt (in the name of my lovely little Toyota Corolla, Glenda) and the desire for a partnership.
Now, to convince a certain someone that a ten-day St. Lucian honeymoon is totally fiscally responsible and Necessary...
Good morning and happy Monday to you all! I missed you last week, and am so glad to be back here in this online space (I know--normally people don't feel this way when they return from spring break, but what can I say? I love my job!).
I am very excited to introduce a new series to you starting Next Week, but before then, I've prepared a short montage of posts highlighting some of my favorite subjects and images from the past year. Beginning with thrift store shopping...
The honest truth is that I LOVE thrift store shopping. While other people crinkle their noses at weird smells and various vagrant shoppers, I see colorful neighbors and a world of possibility.
This is why Craig gets very, very nervous when I say I'm going "out" for bit.
"Out where?" he always wants to know, afraid that I'll come back with some kind of hideous contraption that he can't stand the sight of.To be fair, I have come home with a few hideous items that I was forced to promptly return. Items that undoubtedly came from someone's garage...and probably should have just stayed there. In other words, I have definitely made some choices in poor judgment. As such, I thought it prudent to share a few tips I've learned about thrift store shopping:
Tip #1: older furniture, though sometimes less fashionable, is usually better quality than new stuff. And since thrift stores tend to mark up what looks hip and current, you can usually find good deals on older pieces.
Tip #2: like with us ladies, it's the inside that counts. You can always makeover the surface or finish of a thrift store find--but it is much more difficult to fix water damage, poor construction, and misalignment.
Tip #3: thrift stores are great places to find kitchenware! Need a bundt pan or a 12-count fluted cupcake tray? Try a thrift store before you hit Wal-Mart and you might be surprised with what you find for a great bargain.
Tip #4 thrift stores are also great places to find fabrics. My favorites are the wool from men's suit jackets, and any type of high-quality sweater. Just make sure to check for stains and holes that are too large to fix--
Tip #5: shop often with an open mind. Thrift stores usually rotate their merchandise frequently, so you never know when you're going to run into something marvelous. And it helps to browse with a general--not specific--list of things you're interested in. Because rest assured, you'll find that perfect chair when you're searching for linens instead.
There are other tips, of course, and many of you have probably already read about them from my thrift store e-book. But since it is a popular season for giving our homes a little facelift, I thought it would be fun to revisit these ideas!
Do you have any thrift store treasures you'd like to boast about? Mine is definitely my mid-century modern armoire that I got for under $100! How about you?
My sister and I LOVED paperdolls when we were little. My mother, who has some skill at sketching, would draw us our very own dolls. I remember vividly sitting in the kitchen instructing her as to the specific style I wanted for my hand-drawn skirt or Cinderella gown.
Of course we also loved the store-bought paperdolls as well. We would ever so carefully remove the pieces from their perforated edges, trying hard not to tear them. And we would play with them so much that often scotch tape was required to keep their worn tabs attached to the garments.
Now there are those that say that promoting this type of flagrantly gender-specific activity is sending poor messages to young girls. Perhaps they would suggest that instead of princess gowns and archetype Disney heroines, little girls should instead have "doctor" and "lawyer" and "CEO" paperdolls. Or maybe "superwoman" would be more appropriate (since that seems to be the identity we commonly feel pressured to wear as adult women). 
And certainly I do not want to start an argument about femininity and gender rolls here on a Tuesday morning, but I will say that paperdolls are useful for instructing girls on an important subject, which is that resourcefulness can go a long way.
What I mean is that I practiced the art of mixing and matching long before I was old enough to responsibly pick out my own clothes. With paperdolls you learn that three shirts and two skirts can multiply into at least a dozen different outfits. And that the process of trying new combinations is creatively gratifying.
And perhaps this lesson may seem trivial in the face of the greater concerns of feminine self-actualization, but let me ask you this:
which do you spend more time thinking about:
...whether your childhood appropriately equipped you to cast off traditional chains and achieve full potential...
...or what you are going to wear this week?
I submit to you that it is the latter.
Furthermore, which would you like more practice at:
...taking what you already own and finding new and fun ways to use it, thus saving you money and promoting good stewardship...
...or breaking the glass ceiling?
Again, I reckon for most of us that it is the first.
So although I appreciate the earnest strides made by feminist goals, sometimes what we really need are paperdolls.
What was your favorite childhood toy that taught you about being a lady? Share your comment below!
Permit me to bend your ear for a tick...
‘Tis the season to gossip about the economy, or at least so say the politicians and pundits. Dollars and cents are apparently fresh on people’s minds--partly because we are ankle-deep in the spending season, and also because of our recent recessionary hiccups. Thus, everyone is encouraged to do their patriotic duty and hit the malls, as if our Christmas shopping has the collective power to pull us all up by our global bootstraps and end our economic woes. 
But before you jump to conclusions about my admittedly predictable introduction, this isn’t a post about overspending during the holidays, or even about the shortcomings in our global economy. Rather, this is a post about getting back to the real roots of our economy--which is the home. 
Now, I’m not being overly sentimental in saying this. In fact, the word for economy is translated as such. This little etymological tidbit is something I recently learned from a speech given by Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury. In it he said, “'Economy’ is simply the Greek word for ‘housekeeping’. Remembering this is a useful way of getting things in proportion, so that we don’t lose sight of the fact that economics is primarily about the decisions we make so as to create a habitat that we can actually live in." 
In other words, “economy” isn’t all about retail spending and “putting up good numbers” for the quarter. It’s not about affording and giving lavish gifts--or even cheap gifts for that matter. Creating a “habitat worth living in” has far more to do with our satisfaction in our work, the strength of our relationships, and the care of our resources. 
So while we are busy with this season's festivities, it is nice to practice this idea of "putting things into proportion." What are we doing to create good habitats for ourselves and our families to live in? How are we building community? How are we taking good care of what we've been given?
Because it doesn't take a scholar or an economist to know that Home is worth investing in, and that keeping close to our roots is good for the world.
And speaking of home, come back tomorrow to see another outdated sweater I found hiding in mine, and how I brought it back to life!
Glossary of images, all handmade from Etsy Sellers!Family of Six by Goose Grease UndoneLittle Red Paper House Set PDF pattern by Maria LunateGood Morning Sunshine Barnwood Peep House by Lucinda And JanePocket People and Carrier pattern by Whosie and WhatnotsBig house pillow "My Lovely Tacky Diningroom" by Lei Li La Loo
per.ni.cious [adjective]: having a harmful effect, esp. in a gradual or subtle way.
There is a pernicious foe that threatens to allure me every holiday season. Sneaking around disguised as pretty advertisements promising me free merchandise and bonus deals is the dreaded "spaver."
That's right--I said "spaver."
The spaver, my friends, looks like a sale. Offering discounts and prizes, it appears to save you money.
But it doesn't. Oh no, it doesn't.
Because what you're really doing with the spaver is not saving but Spending! Like this ad above, beckoning me to spoil myself with this wonderful deal. I only have to spend $89 for a $224 value.
Only $89! What--does money grow on trees these days? I have two words for you: Cover Girl.
Ahem...as an aside, notice how this promotion mentions gift-giving in parenthesis and tiny print while "SPOIL YOURSELF!" is in large, bold letters? THIS is why I end up spending more on myself than anyone else during the holiday season. But I digress...
Moving on, how about this familiar little trick? This time I only need to purchase a sweater at regular price and I can get the second one free! Nevermind that the regular priced sweater I'm paying full price for is probably over $100! And naturally I don't get the free shipping unless I spend $125.
Are you catching a trend here? Notice how much I've already spent so far on these "savings?" (hint: it's already over $200 and that doesn't even include J.Crew and Pottery Barn!)
And even the coupon codes, like the one above, say "SAVE NOW," but you have to spend $75 to get the savings. $75 at Walgreens? What are they selling over there these days, I wonder? Cashmere? Diamonds? Rolex watches?
Pernicious, I tell you. Pernicious.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some shopping to do...
My dog, Agamemnon, (yes, that’s his real name. For the record, I had nothing to do with it.) never overspends during the holiday season. Never. So when January rolls around, he does not succumb to the stress and guilt that the rest of us feel after a full month of consuming.
Now, this is for a number of reasons. First, he is a dog and doesn’t have any money. So naturally he’s got that going for him. Second, he knows how to tune out periodically during the season. Allow me to explain...
Agamemnon is quite committed to spending hours--even days--during the season avoiding all forms of holiday advertising. He stays off the computer. He avoids television. He casts disdainful glances at catalogs. He steers clear of shops. 
This behavior, I realize, is quite radical for us humans to adopt. But perhaps we could learn a thing or two from Ag. For instance, ever since Thanksgiving commenced, my inbox has been stuffed to the gills with advertisements. At least every other new message I receive is from the Loft or J.Crew or Amazon or Barnes & Noble. Even Walgreens is cyber-stalking me!
And this, of course, says nothing about the tv ads and tantalizing Pottery Barn catalogs and beautiful gift guides that the glossies are printing--all calling out to me to spend.
Now let me tell you a selfish little secret of mine: I only pay attention to the items that I want, and disregard the rest. So naturally when I head out to the store, or onto an online retailer, I catch myself picking up “just a few small things” for myself while shopping for others. Things I didn’t really think I wanted until...say...I saw them in my inbox.
This, of course, leads to much overspending and feelings of guilt following the season.
So though I could never be as committed as Agamemnon this season, I do think that I might try his technique every now and then, by turning off the tv and shutting down my email and enjoying an afternoon at home instead of at the stores. Sort of like a consumer-detox during the shopping-binge.
It certainly seems to work for Ag, anyway.
What are your tricks for staying within your budget during the holidays? Share your comments here by posting them below!
I spent twelve dollars on a pair of used skinny jeans yesterday. Yes--skinny jeans. I swore--SWORE--that I would never do such a thing. I mean--they are all fine and well on fashionable teeny boppers, but I’m a grown woman. A grown woman who did, in fact, spend several years of her life rolling up the ankles of her jeans, and then has spent the remaining years trying to atone for such a grave fashion error.
And yet I bought some. I’m wearing them even now. Even though I still think they sorta make me look like a muffin, which as you all know is not the most flattering shape on a woman. And why am I doing this to myself? Because I am a tragic and yet willing victim of perceived obsolescence. 
I talked earlier this season about planned obsolescence--which is when manufacturers intentionally make products with short life spans so that we have to replace them. Like my faulty hair dryers, for instance.
Well, perceived obsolescence is similar, except that there is nothing faulty about the merchandise. We are persuaded to replace it not because it has fallen apart or quit working, but because we perceive it to be obsolete (aka outdated). Such is the case with my skinny jeans. 
They are, frankly, the “in” shape right now, especially with those knee-high rider boots that I’m coveting. I know you know what I’m talking about. No longer do I want to wear my knee-high heeled boots under my bootcut jeans. Oh no. I want to wear New boots Over New jeans. Is there anything wrong with my bootcut jeans (other than the new hole I just discovered in the knee) or my heeled suede boots? No, of course not. And yet still they are getting the boot (ha ha--get it? the boot...ahem...) by trendier (and admittedly less flattering) skinny jeans and flat boots.
It’s a sickness, really. 
I don’t share this story with you because I’m proud of it. Frankly I’m a bit ashamed at my weakness for fashion trends. I’m sharing because I know you can relate. And because perceived obsolescence really is a sneaky consumer trick that should at least be acknowledged if not resisted.
Admittedly sometimes the resistance is futile. And someday I’ll look at the photos of me wearing these skinny jeans and think “why? what was I thinking?” Until then, I guess I need more practice at being less trendy.
I had to pay a speeding ticket today. A very expensive speeding ticket. And it got me thinking about money.
Okay...so maybe I was already thinking about money. I was thinking about how debt is the other enemy of originality. And not just debt--sometimes spending in general can be the antagonist.
What I mean is that the most common obstacle standing in the way of living differently is money. How many of us would make different choices with our time if money were no object? Probably about 99% of us.
Money, of course, is an object. A very important one. And we can't just ignore it. But there are two errors in judgment I often see people make when it comes to their money--errors that prevent them from even having the option of making original choices.
The first error is an obvious one: outspending your income. Otherwise known as debt. Debt is not just terrible because it costs you A Lot of extra money over time via high interest rates. And causes stress. And damages relationships.
Debt is also terrible because it places harsh limits on your choices. Like forcing you to work in a job you hate--or for more hours than you'd like--because you need the income to pay bills.
Debt is bad. You get it, I know.
The other error is sneakier. Because it is not about overspending your income, which is fairly easy to diagnose. It is about overspending your goals. Maybe you have plenty of cash to pay your bills from month to month, which is good. But you are also spending a lot of money on things you don't necessarily need. This isn't bad per se, except when that money could open up doors instead.
What I mean is that if you have the goal of staying home someday with your kids--your kids who aren't even born yet because you're twenty three and just out of college--and you are spending your money today with no mind to that goal, you're overspending. It seems harsh to say, but it's true. If a goal is really important to you, but you don't factor it into your spending and saving plan NOW...chances are good that when the time comes to achieve that goal, you won't have the cash.
The bottom line is that living originally usually means making unconventional choices. And those choices often require financial strategy and planning. Because if you don't plan to be unique, your budget will make the decision for you--and it will almost always choose the status quo.
And finally, if you don't pay attention to street signs and happen to get snagged by the police while driving your bright yellow car at twice the speed limit...well then you've also made an error in financial judgment.
A big one.
Crap.
I wanted to follow up Friday’s introduction (in levity) of planned obsolescence with a little more chatter on the subject.
As “the Detective” mentioned, planned obsolescence is when manufacturers produce items that are intentionally designed to fall apart or break down within a relatively short window of time. This intention is orchestrated for one purpose: to get us to consume.
Now, there is A Lot we could say about consumerism these days. Depending on who you talk to, it is either the bane of our civilization or the salvation of it. And although both of those ideas are very intriguing to a closet nerd like myself, what I want to focus on...naturally...is originality.
In my opinion, planned obsolescence works best when we fit the mold. In other words, when we predictably make purchases based on price (aka the lowest price always wins), and on trend. For instance, Old Navy can afford to make shoddy shirts (and let’s face it--they are shoddy) because a) they know we love a bargain, and b) they know that the trend will expire about the same time as the shirt will.
So am I saying that being original means you have spend more money and eschew trends? No, of course not. I’m just as eager to find the cheapest ruffled apparel I can get my hands on this season as the next lady. But according to an article I recently read in Time magazine, women today make 75% of the buying decisions in American homes. In other words, collectively we are The Consumer. And as a group, I’m remiss to say that we tend to behave like cattle. Trendy, fashionable cattle...but cattle nonetheless.
Being original, then, means that we need to exercise our “consumer identities” with some foresight and intention. This includes budgeting wisely, investing in quality, and wasting less. And if that sounds about as fun as a wet blanket, don’t worry--there are lots of clever ideas and conversations ahead that will spice up the concept, I promise!
But before all of that...what do you think? Are we more cattle or ranchers? Talk amongst yourselves...
Other Be An Original Posts:
Original Sweater
A Story...
Be An Original
May I just say, good or bad, in relationships many things are related to money. Maybe it doesn't speak well of our society or maybe it does. But the truth of things is love is not enough to sustain a marriage/relationship. It helps; it makes you more willing to try new things or put up with things you NEVER would have without it. But we need to have food and shelter and shoes. (Matt would disagree with one of those. Can you guess which?)
