Winning the Lottery

I know that the Valentine holiday is supposed to be devoted to amorous feelings and thoughts on love. It is the season of cupid and red roses and over indulging in wine and chocolate. A time for sonnets and romantic films and candlelight dinners.
And though I am all in favor of the above rituals, today I would like to focus my attention on something a little unorthodox. Because it occurred to me while considering the above that what I know of love was not so much taught to me by the affections and attentions of men, but what I’ve learned from my mom.

Bear with me here while I explain what I mean. As a woman, to be loved in a romantic way is a gift indeed. But in order to enjoy that gift we first have to learn how to receive it. And in order to learn how to receive it, we must learn what it is to be a woman. The lessons we learn on the latter will shape the way we love and are loved for our entire lives.And this is where I feel that I won the lottery. Because my mother has been a wonderful role model for me. She taught me about strength and faith. She modeled fidelity and integrity. And she showed me how to be a lady--both in confidence and beauty.
It is partly because of her teaching that I had the security to turn down the favors of selfish suitors in my youth. And to safeguard my heart from cheap sexuality and counterfeit affection. I was equipped to choose an honest and noble man to spend my life with because she taught me that I was worth the highest caliber of men.
Now I know that not all of us are so lucky as to have moms like the one I was blessed with. Not everyone wins the lottery. But many of us do have someone special in our life that has taught us how to give and receive love. And during this week of romance and affection, it is nice to consider them too.

Thanks, mom, for being such a good teacher. Happy Valentines Day.

Who is your “lottery” prize? Your mom? Dad? A friend? A lover? Share with us by posting your comment below!

Upcoming Event: "Your Best Birth" Simulcast

I know what you might be thinking. Why would an unpregnant woman without children be advertising for an event/book that is all about giving birth? Well, I'm glad you asked...

Excited to Attend!
I am excited about attending the Your Best Birth simulcast party this month for a variety of reasons:

1. Even though I'm not a mother, I can't help but be curious about what Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein have to say about the culture of giving birth in our society. Because I am admittedly a little concerned about reports I hear of escalating induction and C-section rates, and am interested to hear more about this important women's health issue.

2. I love how motherhood and birth connects women in a way that almost nothing else does. Creating community is important to me, and always fun to witness!

3. I am looking forward to debuting my Hillberry Baby collection of handmade baby quilts, bedding, and other nursery decor items! I've been wanting to launch a baby line for quite awhile, and this event gives me the perfect opportunity to start sewing!

4. I am also looking forward to meeting new friends, and hopefully introducing them to this blog and your company as readers! Maybe we'll find some new Recessionistas!

Come Along!
Of course, certainly I'd love to see you there! If you are a mom or soon-to-be mom living in Northern Colorado, this would be a great event to check out. It is free to the public and will have lots of resources! Even if you aren't (as mentioned--I'm neither cooking a bun or raising any at home) but would like to learn more about this timeless women's health issue, or would like to see some entrepreneurs in action, come along too!

Feel free to email me for more details at shillberry@stephaniehillberry.com.

Marketplace Mavens: featuring Rebecca of Interior Automotive Repair

note: Marketplace Mavens is a regular column highlighting the spectacular talent of female entrepreneurs. Whether they are hobbyists, full-powered business owners, or somewhere in between, these ladies are sure to inspire you to venture into the marketplace yourself!

I don’t believe for a minute that entrepreneurs are born and not made. Just because you don’t grow up with a lemonade stand in your front yard doesn’t mean that you can’t grow into the spirit of creating and selling later in life.

Born with It!
But I have to say that in the case of this Marketplace Maven, some people really are just born with it. Because for as long as I’ve known Rebecca, she has always had an enterprise, whether it was managing rental property, cleaning houses, or selling Avon. Her latest business--repairing automotive interiors--is so successful that she now has a contracted employee working for her.

Of course, one of the most impressive things about Rebecca’s entrepreneurialism is that she is a single mom, and has used her knack for running her own business to help her stay home with her three kids. And yes--juggling work with science projects and diaper changes is a challenge, but she feels fortunate to be able to spend so much time with her family.

Highlights:
Here are some highlights from our conversation about the entrepreneur-at-home lifestyle:

* Rebecca reminded me that being an entrepreneur sometimes requires courage. Her current business places her in the rather gruff automotive industry where thick skin is an occupational necessity. She confesses that she was initially intimidated to approach dealer's with bids, but she didn't let her discomfort stop her from doing it anyway. Clearly her courage has since paid off!

* Never forget that money management matters. Rebecca shared with me how important she feels it is for women to be active managers of their personal and/or business finances. She had to “learn the books” for her current business, which she admits can be a headache, but she cringes at the alternative of being ignorant. Good financial habits, regardless of a woman’s circumstances, are as important as good health and wellness.

* Rebecca’s life is a testament to how important the support of family is when you are raising kids and running a business. Her sisters and close friends make a tight community where help is freely given and received.

* Like former Maven, Lori, Rebecca reminds me that it is possible to be a single mom and stay home with your kids. In fact, the desire to be home with children is a driving force behind many home-based businesses. Rebecca would probably be an entrepreneur with or without her kids (like I said--she was born with a talent for it), but her kids make her that much more determined to succeed.

Role Model
As with every maven interview I've conducted, I drove home from my meeting with Rebecca inspired by the strength of her character. Her talent, coupled with courage and a mother's conviction, makes her a role model. Thanks, Rebecca, for sharing your story!

Previous Marketplace Mavens:
Lori from Premier Designs
Laura from Uproar
Hannah from Red Tandem Studio

Nesting Your Life

In between my mad flurry of painting and staining and sewing this week, I have had some time to reflect more on the idea that as women we start preparing our nests for children a lot sooner than when they actually arrive.  In the traditional sense, this may not seem to be the case.  I mean, you can walk through my home and notice the conspicuous absence of anything related to children.  My electrical sockets are exposed, my spare bedroom has a bed (with a fabulous newly refinished headboard, I might add), instead of a crib, and you can find a plethora of poisons under my kitchen sink.  The absence of kid things, though, doesn't mean that I haven't been creating space for them in my life.

It is true, in fact, that I have been consciously making decisions in their favor for years.  Like when my husband and I first got married and decided to limit our lifestyle and budget to one income in case I wanted to stay home with them down the road.  Or when we worked hard for five years to pay off extraneous debt that we were carrying so that we would be more financially prepared to raise a family.  Even my decision to use contraception early in our marriage was a choice I made with my kids in mind, because I didn't want to bring them into our relationship when we were still getting used to it (Yes--I think postponing pregnancy can actually be a form of preparing for kids down the road, as backwards as that logic may seem.).  

I know I'm not alone in the planning.  As women, many of us start "nesting with our life" (aka making decisions with our future children in the back of our minds) from very young ages.  We ask "will this man make a good father someday?" or "will this career support me in motherhood in the future?" or "will my weight/health help or hurt me when I want to get pregnant down the road?"  We may not consciously assign these questions to "nesting" at the time, but that is exactly what they are.

My point with all of this is to say that our relationship with the process of becoming mothers doesn't begin with a positive pregnancy test, but much sooner.  And it should start sooner. Being intentional about the choices we make in favor of our children (even if we're twenty and still in college, and our kids are not even a twinkle in our eyes yet) only helps us.

So nest on with your life, ladies!

Previous Nesting posts:

Avoiding the Subject

Domestic Deep Thoughts

The Pursuit of Beauty

Moms vs. Al Qaeda

Did you know that Al Qaeda released more than "450 statements, books, articles, magazines, audio recordings, short videos of attacks and longer films" to the world wide web in 2007?  Reading that stat from an opinion piece in today's New York Times had me thinking.  First--wow.  Talk about a productive network.  They are proliferate, are they not?  Sinister, but proliferate.

My immediate reaction was a bit of guilt.  I barely get five posts out a week, and certainly my to-do list grows exponentially faster than my "done" list.  But, I have to cut myself some slack.  Al Qaeda certainly has more manpower than I do--I couldn't compete if I tried.

Then I got to thinking about how powerful the internet is, and how connections are made, and networks built, and influence wielded.  What if, I considered, women could harness this same web-strategy as Al Qaeda, and just flood the internet with writings and statements and books and films?  Only instead of violence and hatred, our topics would be about nurturing our communities and raising our children and boosting the economy.  

And then I spent some time surfing online.  Visiting blogs and websites maintained by women mostly.  And I realized that if there really was a competition to flood the internet, moms would beat the pants off of Al Qaeda.  Hands down.  No contest.  Even more, these moms are organized, with their own networks and advertising and public relations companies.  And they are very popular.  More popular, I'm guessing, than Al Qaeda.  

For me, this is just one more confirmation to my firm belief that it is a great time to be a woman leading in her community--be it in her neighborhood, or online.  We're naturals at it.  The blogsphere is just one of many examples.  

Housewife.  Mom.  Stay-at-home-working-mom....  Leader.  Visionary.  Influencer.  

Al Qaeda doesn't stand a chance.