Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Pernicious [adjective]: having a harmful effect, esp. in a gradual or subtle way.

There is a pernicious foe that threatens to allure me every holiday season. Sneaking around disguised as pretty advertisements promising me free merchandise and bonus deals is the dreaded "spaver."

That's right--I said "spaver."

The spaver, my friends, looks like a sale. Offering discounts and prizes, it appears to save you money.

But it doesn't. Oh no, it doesn't.

Because what you're really doing with the spaver is not saving but Spending! Like this ad above, beckoning me to spoil myself with this wonderful deal. I only have to spend $89 for a $224 value.

Only $89! What--does money grow on trees these days? I have two words for you: Cover Girl. an aside, notice how this promotion mentions gift-giving in parenthesis and tiny print while "SPOIL YOURSELF!" is in large, bold letters? THIS is why I end up spending more on myself than anyone else during the holiday season. But I digress...

Moving on, how about this familiar little trick? This time I only need to purchase a sweater at regular price and I can get the second one free! Nevermind that the regular priced sweater I'm paying full price for is probably over $100! And naturally I don't get the free shipping unless I spend $125.

Are you catching a trend here?
Notice how much I've already spent so far on these "savings?" (hint: it's already over $200 and that doesn't even include J.Crew and Pottery Barn!)

And even the coupon codes, like the one above, say "SAVE NOW," but you have to spend $75 to get the savings. $75 at Walgreens? What are they selling over there these days, I wonder? Cashmere? Diamonds? Rolex watches?

Pernicious, I tell you. Pernicious.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some shopping to do...

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