Today is Black Friday. It is a day when the masses flood the retail stores to snag great deals on holiday merchandise. A day for merriment and joy. A day for glee.
But you won’t find me joyfully shopping, and here are the reasons why:
* It interferes with my dedicated plans for laziness:
I know there are plenty of families who love to round-out a weekend of eating and napping with a high-energy tour of the malls (it’s like retail exercise), but I don’t come from a family like that. Instead, I have grown up in a culture that believes that the four-day holiday break is good for one thing: doing nothing. We sleep in. We nap. We watch movies. We leisurely eat a mountain of leftovers. I just can’t break from tradition. My family needs me.
* I’m a holiday-shopping-procrastinator:
In other words, I’m not prepared for Black Friday. Yes, I’ve typed up and emailed my Christmas list to everyone, but I’m nowhere near determining my lists for others (I may have just confessed to a series character flaw here....). So though I suppose I could go out to the stores, I would just wander the jam-packed aisles with no purpose.
And with no purpose we all know what happens--I end up buying an armload of absolutely adorable gifts....for me.
* Finally, it’s absolutely crazy out there!
I’m not telling you something you don’t already know. The one and only time I’ve ever ventured out on Black Friday I reached the parking lot before dawn only to realize that there were no parking spaces left.
Who are these CRAZY PEOPLE that get up that early and camp out in front of retail stores?!!!
Please...please...if you are one of them, tell me what I’m missing. Is it the deals? The adrenaline rush? The thrill of the sale? The smell of blood in the air?
Because I’m dying to know. I just don’t get it.
So today, when the sun rises, you’ll know just where to find me: in bed, sleeping.
Merry Black Friday. Now leave me alone--I’m trying to rest.