Being & Doing: reflections on a Monday morning

After almost two years of blogging, Monday mornings still give me pause. I wake up like most people thinking of the work week ahead--the projects I need to do, the appointments I have, the leftover tasks I didn’t finish from the previous week. And during this quick mental survey of the days ahead, I can’t help but think about the Monday mornings of my past--the ones when I woke up and dreaded the week ahead. On those days I didn’t want to get out of bed. My to-do list held no interest for me. My appointments were void of purpose. My leftover tasks felt like heavy weights on my shoulders.



Those were difficult Mondays.

Fortunately my weekly kick-offs have since improved. And the improvement began with a simple question: who do I want to be? Part of the answer--as you might guess--was that I wanted to be someone who enjoyed Monday mornings.



I find it interesting that we ask children “what do you want to be when you grow up?” and expect them to answer with what they want to do. Because being and doing are not the same thing. Two years ago, for instance, I was doing the expected full-time career, but I wasn’t being who I wanted to be.



I bring this all up because a) it is Monday, and b) originality begins with “who do you want to be?” My answer to the question--a creative entrepreneur/mom/wife/leader--was what led me to overhaul my cookie-cutter life in pursuit of something different. It is what led me here, to all of you.

Originality, then, is not something to do. Yes, there are plenty of original things we can do--many of them I write about here. But fundamentally I want to Be an Original. And that is what we’re going to gab about for the rest of this week. So stick around to hear more...and I hope you enjoy your Monday.

To read more about my "lifestyle makeover," click here.

the Recesionista Brand

Yesterday I asked you all to think about your “introduction” speeches--the ones you make when you introduce yourself to strangers for the first time. Like, “hi, I’m Sally and I twirl batons in my spare time, and work in plumbing during the day." Or, "I'm Patty and I take care of my three small children all day while secretly dreaming about a career in the circus."

The Labels Don't Fit
Introduction speeches became very relevant to me last year as I transitioned into my new life of “domestic entrepreneurialism.” Because for a long time I didn’t really know what to say about myself when I met new people. There weren’t any good labels for what I was doing. I was too entrepreneurial to be called a housewife. But my entrepreneurialism was too informal for me to be a “small business owner.” And since I wasn’t a mom, I couldn’t apply the stay-at-home-mom sticker. And obviously the 9-5 label no longer fit.

This was perhaps when I decided that what I needed was a label-less brand. Like the look of couture without the designer’s initials stitched into the seam. I wanted people to be able to identify the qualities of my “brand” without subjecting myself to the oversimplification of a label.

Unsurprisingly, over a year later, many of the qualities I settled on have trickled their way into my writing. Certainly they've been running like threads throughout this Recessionista series: entrepreneurialism, creativity, being leaders from our homes.... And though I haven’t exactly figured out how to package that neatly into an introduction speech, I’m working on it.

Three Things...
Because what I want for myself and for you readers--whether you work full time or stay home or balance some combination of both--is a brand that communicates three essential things: creativity, resourcefulness and leadership. When people meet me, I want them to know that I practice thinking outside of the box, that I am smart about the resources I have (whether they are tangible, like my money or my supplies, or intangible, like my skills and talents), and that I am a leader. And I wouldn’t mind shattering their preconceived notions about the vital nature of work done from and for the home while I’m at it.

New Speeches
Certainly I don’t expect all of us to start adding “hello, I’m a Recessionista,” to our introductory speeches. Because frankly that would be weird. And also because “Recessionista” is more like a label than a brand. But I would love to have some introductions that stretch beyond convention by sparking hints of creativity, resourcefulness and leadership. Like, "hi, I'm Sandy and I spend my time raising my two young children and growing my scrapbook network. I'm always looking for new members to join me in scrapbook therapy, to swap supplies, and share ideas. Would you be interested?" Or, "I'm Kathy and I work as an accountant by day, helping people navigate their finances. And since I love dogs, I also volunteer weekly at the pet shelter where I connect animals with new families. It's my way of helping our community."

As for me, "I'm Stephanie and I'm a blogger who passionately writes about domestic life all day. And yes--I did make this red dress. What did you say your name was again? James, was it?"

Previous Recessionista Posts:
Brand It!
Thinking Outside the Box
Homegrown Resilience
Servin' Up Solutions

Brand It!

I was putting on my white cotton sundress today for the first time this spring, and couldn’t help but think about last week’s post on “accessorizing” my life with creative ventures. And as I was looking at my dress, with it’s slightly vintage style, I wondered what type of “brand” would fit me. Fit me not so much in the fashion sense, but in the “whole person” sense (seriously--I do think about these things when I’m getting ready in the morning. I’ll have a doctor look into it momentarily.)

So Popular
Let me explain. Branding, of course, has gotten oh so popular these days, what with our flashy marketing tricks and clever sales hooks. And naturally with all of this marketing going on, it was bound to trickle down into our personal lives in a motivational, self-help kind of way eventually. And while I normally try to avoid all that proactive self-awareness, in the case of branding I have to confess that I’m intrigued.

My Own Personal Brand?
Intrigued because after leaving my 9-5 job, I found that I had to give myself a little branding makeover. I went from “career girl responsibly pursuing a future in finance” to...well...I wasn’t sure. Housewife? Small business owner? Writer? Perhaps a little bit of all of the above?

In essence, I needed to know Who exactly was I, and How was I going to share myself with others?

Our Public Selves
And so I bring up this subject of branding (which, since I haven’t said it already, is basically the process of figuring out how to present yourself to the public) because I’ve spent a lot of time during this Recessionista series writing about entrepreneurialism and resumes and leadership. And all of these activities involve us as women expressing our personalities and ambitions to the outside world. And frankly this task can get tricky.

For instance, how many of you readers are stay-at-home moms, and have struggled to articulate what you do to strangers in small talk? “I stay home,” isn’t a very satisfying "brand," but it often becomes the label anyway. Or how about those of you who work full time, but don’t feel that your jobs fully express (or express at all!) your interests and personality? The “what do you do?” question bugs you because what you do from 9-5 isn’t who you are. Not even close.

So how do we, as women, find a way to communicate who we are in a way that is more accurate and satisfying than “I stay home,” or “My job is...”? The answers, perhaps, can be found with a little time spent branding.

Setting the Stage
Naturally there are a Ton of ways I can speak about this process, but frankly this post is already getting too long. So, rather than talk your ear off all morning, I will set the stage for a continuation of this subject in the days to come. Consider it my way to begin wrapping up Recessionistas, and tying everything together under a “Recessionista brand." Because before the summer is upon us, and we're too relaxed to give much care to our public presentation (outside of how we look in a bathing suit, of course), I thought we could spend a little time thinking about what it means to share our vibrant, multi-dimensional selves with others.

Homework
So, to get the ball rolling, I have some homework for you. Don't worry--nothing too serious. Just a small exerice, which is to:
think about your "introduction speech"? (You know--the one that you give to people when you are introducing yourself.) What do you say? More importantly, what do you omit? Are you pleased, or discontent, with it? Why?

I'll bring my answer, plus more, to tomorrow's post. Hope to see you then!

Previous Related Posts:
Express Yourself: entreprenuerialism as an accessory
Recessionista Resume
But I'm Not Crafty (and other misconceptions about being an entrepreneur)
Now is Our Time

Express Yourself: entrepreneurialism as an accessory

ahem...An analogy for entrepreneurial expression:

Picture, if you will, your different roles as a woman as the various pieces of your wardrobe. Marriage, motherhood and career are like your staples--the hard working items that provide the foundation for your look. They are your favorite jeans that go with everything, or the classic white dress shirt, or the pair of black heels. They define the most important work and relationships in your life.

Adding a Personal Touch
But a wardrobe isn’t usually great if we stop there. Though very stable and solid, it lacks a certain punch. Sure, we’ve probably expressed our own style to a certain extent in these roles, adding our personal touch as a wife or bringing our own character to mothering. Just like choosing a boot cut over a slim leg, or peep toes over square. But those choices still don’t adequately express the fullness of who we are, and what our style is.

Because in order to that, you need accessories. Handbags, fun shoes, skirts and scarves. Prints, stripes, colors and texture. For me, these final touches that we add on top of our roles as wives and moms and worker bees are where some of the best opportunities lay for personal expression.

A Good Accessory
And it won’t surprise you to learn that I think one of the best ways to accessorize our lives is through entrepreneurialism. Not the formal go-out-and-get-a-business-license kind, but the creative, interest-and-talent-driven type. Nurturing your hobbies and skills, and daring to bring them out from the closet and wear them in public, can be very rewarding. Like turning your love for reading into a book-review blog. Or sharing your passion for children’s development by organizing a weekly educational field trip for your daughter’s friends and neighbors. Or cultivating your fancy for beads by designing your own special jewelry line. These things, like headbands and purses, are what make us stand out in a crowd and sparkle. They are what make us us.

Some Days...
It is true that sometimes we don’t have the energy to accessorize. Some days it is enough to throw on our tried-and-true denim and black flats and head out the door. Some days, marriage and kids and career are all that we can juggle. But for a Recessionista, not every day should be like that. Some days--hopefully most days--are meant for more style. Days for marriage and kids and work, and also a little extra flare. A little creativity on the side.

My, don’t you look nice today in your polka dots and red shoes--
--Why, thank you. They’re my favorite. I try to wear them whenever I can.

Previous Related Posts:
Your Inner Entrepreneur
But I'm Not Crafty (and other misconceptions about being an entrepreneur)
Recessionista Resume

Recessionista Resume

This past week I was browsing the office supply aisle at the store, and took notice of all the different “resume grade” paper options for sale. For a premium price, you could buy fine linen or parchment or watermarked sheets, each promising to make a good first impression with the resume recipient.

And for some reason the sight of all these papers lined up in a row got me thinking about modern resumes, especially during a recession. And I wondered “what type of resume would a Recessionista have?”

Does Career = Job?
A comment made by a friend later in the week provided a key clue. She mentioned that she didn’t think a person’s career should be defined solely by their job(s). In her opinion, a “career” included activities done both in and outside of traditional employment. I was intrigued by this broader definition of work and considered what a Recessionista resume would look like if it followed this philosophy.

Ideas for a Recessionista Resume
And though I haven’t settled on exact formula (as if there is one), the following are some ideas I think a Recessionista could include on her resume:

* details of her “extra curricular” activities. These activities, be they social clubs, hobbies or volunteer engagements, say a lot about a person. Granted, an employer is not looking for the same type of “well rounded person” that, say, a college admissions board is looking for, but when these activities can be tied to job skills, they can really make a resume shine.

* highlights of entrepreneurialism. Employers are not too keen on hiring someone who already has their own business, but they do love to hear about your sales and marketing skills. Recessionistas can play up their creative entrepreneurialism in ways that won’t scare away an employer by emphasizing these skills as part of an ongoing and informal entrepreneurial lifestyle.

* quantified accounts of resourcefulness. Although an employer isn’t likely to be impressed with “I managed my household budget for 10 years,” they might take a second look at “I cut 15% off of budget spending and invested the difference for a 10% return.” And yes, you will have to explain that these savings were done at home, but coupled with a description of how you approached your savings & investment strategy, you might make a great impression.

A Little Risky
Of course modifying a resume to include some of these non-traditional features is a little risky, and some risks might not be worth taking. So if you feel more comfortable with a traditional resume, stick with that. But if you are looking to broaden your definition of "career" to include a variety of skills and activities that fall outside of your job, a resume is a great place to start.

And in my opinion is beats the pants off of linen or parchment paper.

Do you have any resume tips you'd like to share? Or maybe your thoughts on "careers" verses "jobs." Post your thoughts below!

Previous Related Posts on Resumes and Work in a Recession:
Building a Resume that Rocks
My Recession Proof Plan for the Work from Home Life
My Stay at Home Resume Makeover
Smarty Pants: Is Staying Home Foolish in a Recession?

Working Women Left Out?

I spent the last several days revamping my website, stephaniehillberry.com.  As I was adding things, and subtracting others, I always had the stay-at-home woman in the back of my mind.  Would she read this?  Would she find it useful?

Later, I showed my mom some of the improvements I'd made, and she said something that has caused me to pause and think.  She asked, "what are you going to do about women who don't have someone in their lives to financially provide for them?"  In other words, what about all of the women who aren't staying home?  Who are working full-time?  Who have no other choice?  Will they be left out?

Her question is fair.  I spend a lot of time addressing the women who--like me--stay home.  They are either home raising children or running their own businesses or being housewives.  But what about everyone else?  Do I have anything to say to them?  

The answer is yes.  Yes I do.  I say to them the same things I say to women who are staying home, which is "you can be a civic and economic leader in your community."  The tools I've created for my website (many of them are coming soon) are for women in all circumstances to use in their lives, with their friends, families and neighbors.  Granted, some of the tools are easier to implement if you are staying-home, mainly because the stay-at-home lifestyle is more flexible than the 9-5 grind.  But none of them require a stay-at-home life.

And I guess ultimately that is the point I would like to stress.  A call to leadership is a call to everyone.  Yes, I will consistently be an advocate for stay-at-home women, because so often I think that society overlooks their potential.  But I sincerely hope that by encouraging one group I don't discourage the other.  

The bottom line is that our communities need the skills that women bring, especially in these times.  We should be bringing those skills regardless of the lifestyle we are living--working from home or working out in the traditional workforce.    

"She-conomy"

I have been reflecting a lot this week on money.  Earning money, to be more specific.  After having lunch with an entrepreneurial friend, I realized with even greater conviction that earning money is an important issue for women to address in these times--even women who opt out of the traditional workforce to stay home.

The trouble with earning money these days (well, one of the troubles anyway) is that the predominant economic system is incompatible for those of us who are choosing a more home-centered lifestyle.  With its "bigger is better" mantra, and often heavy-handed culture, the prevailing economy is not very conducive to the flexibility and nimbleness that women might prefer.

Of course, our modern economy is very effective at what it does, and to attempt to reform it for stay-at-home types seems futile, if not foolish.  This is why I propose the establishment of an alternative e-conomy: a "she-conomy', if you will.  This economy can easily operate alongside the traditional cog-and-wheel system, but in a very different way.

In my mind, the "she-conomy" elevates a more...shall we say, feminine, approach to earning and selling.  And as such, it offers a counterbalance to the current system.  The following are qualities I envision in a "she-conomy":

1.  small and nimble (vs. big and bulky): the American Dream of building an empire out of rags might be well and fine if you don't have to get dinner on the table and give the kids a bath.  The trouble with empires, after all, is that they are difficult to lug around, and require too much time.  Women need an economic culture that offers opportunities for smaller, more portable businesses--ones they can carry with them while they multi-task with a million other things.

2.  flexible: kids get sick, babies need nursing, friends need comfort...and women need an economy that is flexible enough to go with the flow.  Making money can't always trump the needs of others, so there must be a way to make it in the process of everything else.

3.  community-centered:  yes, globalization is a boon for the market, but most women I know don't feel too comfortable when the community suffers at the hands of super-size corporations.  A she-conomy intentionally supports local women making a living and sharing resources with others, even if its means are global.  

4.  relational: women flourish among friends, neighbors and family--why can't our economy flourish here also?  Impersonal and distant (a common byproduct of big business) is too isolating.  A she-conomy is best built among the support and connections around us.

The million dollar question is can a "she-conomy" actually deliver?  I believe the answer is yes, and I think it is already flourishing in pockets around the globe.  I definitely will be talking more about the traits of a she-conomy in the future, and will be looking for stories of women who are making it happen in their own lives and in their communities.  If you have such a story, please share it with my by writing to me at shillberry@comcast.net.  

Seriously

I was reflecting today on the role of the stay-at-home mom and housewife (like I usually do), and find that an ever-increasing conviction about the value of that role is growing in my mind.  It is a vocation that needs to be taken seriously.  

Of course, it is not taken seriously, for so many reasons.  Women who stay home don't earn money (or at least they aren't perceived as wage-earners, even though many of them are), they are lazy, they live outside of the "real world," they are occupied only with children and chores, etc. etc. 

More concerning, though, than the culture not taking the stay-at-home vocation seriously is that many times we don't take it seriously ourselves.  Passion for motherhood is probably the exception to this.  Most of the mothers I know who choose to stay home with their children feel very strongly about the value of that choice.  But the choice to stay home extends far beyond children.

The truth is that women (and men) who choose to stay home have a unique potential to become leaders in our culture today, and we should take that potential seriously.  By staying home, we have the opportunity to support our communities in a unique and vital capacity, strengthening the neighborhood, social organizations, civic groups, the family, and more.  We are positioned to promote the alternative to Big Business and Big Government in our circles, providing some much needed balance in our communities.  We will most likely be the "first responders" when people need help, encouragement, and aid--often a better social safety net than the best-intentioned government programs can offer.  We can set an example in micro-commerce and education.  We can mobilize when called upon for important causes.  And that is only a portion of our contribution.

Staying home is a legitimate live-li-hood because it brings life into our cities and our culture.  This is not to say that other occupations don't bring life--many of them do.  It is only to say that we should take the "home vocation" seriously, and step into the leadership that is there for our taking.  Because if we don't take it seriously, certainly the culture won't, and we all won't know what we're missing.