Sunday, February 28, 2010

Setting the Pace (more thoughts on reCentering)

This time of year is rather two-faced, don't you think? One day it promises a hint of warmth and sun and spring, and the next it slips right back into winter.

In a word, it's a tease. A flirty, coy tease.
Needless to say, "the tease" and I have been spending some time together recently on my regular prairie walks. And you can tell just from the photo collages above and below, that the scenery shifts dramatically from one day to the next.

And naturally--since I've been in a very reflective mood lately--I've been pondering this shifting in my own life. I mean--is it just me or do you feel like this season involves a lot of stutter-stepping? For instance, some days I wake up bursting with energy and ideas, and then other days I slip back into the habit of figuratively curling up and only doing the things that Have to get done.

The truth is that I sense change on the horizon. Good change, mind you. Much, much needed change. And I'm anxious to get there. BUT... seems like the steps I take to reach the horizon are two-forward-and-then-one-back. Change, it appears, will not be rushed. Just like this recent two-faced weather, I can't force "spring" to get here any sooner.
And so in my efforts to reCenter, I am trying to let change set its own pace. It is, at times, a frustrating endeavor. I'd prefer to push it along, already, especially when I'm teased with promises of warmer days. But I'm trying to take a cue from nature and remember that you can't rush out of winter's dormancy into summer overnight. The seeds of new things need time to grow slowly, or else they'll perish.

And the last thing I want is for my much-anticipated change to perish before it has a chance to bloom. So I guess I have no choice but to endure a little more teasing for a time.


  1. Wow! You are not kidding when you say we're on the same page. I agree with and feel everything you're saying here. There's this feeling of necessity in getting to the destination, but this knowledge that you have to let the course unfold rather than force it. And that's tough when you just want to get there.

  2. The toughest thing, I think, is that I put too much pressure on myself. You mentioned feeling lazy and guilty. That's Exactly how I feel! I see the change ahead and feel like it's my responsibility to make it happen--and so when I can't muster the energy, I feel bad.'s a lot of work being a woman! Do you think men make things so complicated?

  3. least not in my family. My husband doesn't stress every little thing and see a slip up as a failure the way I do. He says I have serious perfectionist tendencies and sway between "I am capable of perfection so that's what I'll do" and "This isn't perfect so I'm a failure and I give up". It makes me sound a bit like a basketcase, but I suppose it's true. I want to do it all and do it well...and part of this search for my bliss is learning that I don't need to do everything and that perfection isn't the ideal end goal.

  4. My husband, too, doesn't seem to fret over the guilt of Not doing things. Of course, like you I struggle with perfectionism...although not in every area of my life (thank God!). But when I spend an hour trying to line up the graphics in my email newsletter just so they'll be straight, I know I need to chill out!


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