Friday, April 17, 2009

Oh Cruel Coupons: a soliloquy

Now that I’m trying to become one of America’s Cheapest Families by reading the tips from America’s Cheapest Family, I thought it was high time I dipped my toes into the world of coupons.

I thought it best to describe my experience in a soliloquy:


Coupons. Oh coupons. You are a harbinger of bygone days.

If only I could clip your glossy pages,

and find your treasures therein.

I could be the vessel of your bounty,

recipient of stacked coins and bills,

flowing gifts from your hand.

Alas, upon seeking you out in the ink-filled notes of yesterday’s paper,

you alluded me.

When I wanted beef, milk and cheese,

you sent me Best Buy electronics.

You know I hate Best Buy.

And when I wanted help with

toilet paper, coffee and fruit,

you lead me to Buy-6-Get-1-Free hair care products.

What kind of hair do you think I have?

I only need one hair care product, and I have plenty,

thank you very much.

And when I was seeking a few treats,

like perhaps a linen sale or a pretty new shoe,

did you come to my aid?


Instead you offered discounted prices for batteries

and extension cords.

Can I wear a battery? I ask.
Can I decorate with cords?

Oh Cruel coupons! Can we ever be friends?

Perhaps tomorrow’s news will tell...

The End.


  1. You just made me laugh out loud at work. Job well done!

  2. Thanks. Maybe I'll ditch my career as a blogger and become a full-time poet.
    Just kidding. That would be a terrible idea.
    Glad I made you laugh on a Friday!

  3. At MOPS yesterday they talked about coupon clipping and how they save hundreds of dollars per month due to using coupons!! It was overwhelming. I think the Sunday paper is your best bet for getting good coupons. It is also hard if you don't eat a lot of processed foods or tend to eat meals that are more complicated. They talked about meal planning and having meals that use the same meats every week. For example mondays: Ground Beef, Tues: Chicken..etc...They even have formed groups that help keep you motivated to save the most money as well as to share coupons! I can share more with you later too...Happy Coupon Clipping!

  4. I'm convinced it's like a science. Any other readers out there with clipping advice?

  5. I'm just learning about it myself. You might check out the grocery game. We did that for awhile and saved about 50% on our grocery bill, but Dave got overwhelmed. I'm convinced there's a simpler way, but I need to learn it :)


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